You know you live in Hoedspruit when...
1) The best parking spot is determined by shade, not distance.
2) Hot water comes out of both taps.
3) You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
4) The temperature drops below 32°C and you feel chilly.
5) You know that in January and February it only takes two fingers to steer a car.
6) You discover you can get sunburnt through your windscreen.
7) You develop a fear of metal door handles.
8) You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7am.
9) Your biggest bicycle accident fear is "What if I get knocked over and end up lying on the road, getting cooked?"
10) You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
11) Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard boiled eggs.
12) The trees are whistling for dogs.
13) While walking back barefoot to your car from any event, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the car park.
14) You catch a cold from having the air conditioner on full blast all night long.
15) You realise that Shopping Centres aren't just Shopping Centres - they are temples where we worship Air Conditioning.
16) Sticking your head in the freezer and taking deep breaths is considered normal.
17) A cup full of ice is considered a great snack.
18) A black out is-life threatening because your air conditioners and your fans no longer work.
19) No one cares if you walk around with no shoes on.
20) You keep everything in the fridge, including potatoes, bread and clothing.
21) People have enough left over beer cans to make a boat and compete in a regatta.
22) The effort of towelling yourself off after a shower means you need another shower right away.
23) You will wait patiently until the day it starts raining to go on a run.
24) You worry your ceiling fan is spinning so fast it will fly off and kill you.
25) Wearing more than 2 items of clothing is too hot.
26) Getting into bed feels like the sheets were just ironed.
27) You sweat looking at the thermometer.
28) Your toothpaste just plops onto your toothbrush and the bristles stick through.
29) Your spare candles can be found in a fridge.
30) The washing dries in half the time it takes for the washing machine to wash them.
31) Your vehicle’s temperature gauge actually jumps upon ignition when doing your first cold start of the day.
32) In a General Election, it takes longer to walk from your car to the Voting Hall than it is to actually vote.
33) You leave your flip flops out in the sun while swimming and then find out they now fit your wife’s smaller feet.
34) You realise that your eye lids also have sweat glands.
35) You laugh because this list is so accurate.